Leaving behind the things you need the most
by SMCKI10
Summary: spoilers for 413. this is a oneshot about Jude and Tommy after london calling tring to deal with the aftermath of Jude's decsion
1. Chapter 1

Jude sit on her bed looking around her almost empty bedroom, in less then 10 hours she would be on a plane to London leaving e

Okay here's my one shot inspired by 413. Thanks to my beta Emily. Also I made a video based on this. It's to always be my baby by david cook.(the song tommy writes.)i do not own instant star or any of the songs

/watch?vupf7IWDlXcM

Hope you like it.

Jude sat on her bed, looking around her almost-empty bedroom. In less than 10 hours, she would be on a plane to London, leaving everyone and everything she had ever known behind, including Tommy. Yesterday, she had it all… she was engaged to the love of her life and a record deal was in the works. Now she was sitting in her bedroom, trying to figure out if she was doing the right thing. She loved Tommy, but she loved her music, also. Since she had made her choice last night, she hadn't talked to him. He had left during the middle of her song, and he wasn't picking up his phone. She looked at the photo that hung on the wall; it was the two of them together, and had been taken right before her 1st album wrapped. A younger Jude was sitting in Tommy's lap and they were playing guitar. She looked down at the ring that still sat on her finger. She needed to set things right, so she grabbed her bag and snuck out the back door. A few minutes later, she was in front of Tommy's apartment. She knocked on the door, and after a few moments with no answer, she used the spare key that she had never returned.

"Hello? Quincy, you here?"

She got no answer, so she walked further in to see empty beer bottles sitting on the coffee table and she saw the mess he had left behind in his haste—or drunken rage—with Tommy, it could be either one. She wandered through the apartment. She looked at the pictures that hung on the walls; she was in most of them. For some reason, she found herself going to his bedroom. She remembered back to the last time she had been in this room. It was right after he had proposed, and they had come back to his apartment to talk, but had wound up in bed together, which had became a common occurrence between them. She looked at the sheets of music that were scattered about. She knew many of them were songs for what Tommy believed to be a pipe dream—his solo record. She sat down on the bed and just stared at the wall, hoping that if she sat there long enough, everything would magically get better. She pulled her journal out of her bag; it was one that she had been writing in since before she became an Instant Star. It had been full since she had finished "2 AM," but she still carried it with her. It still had songs in it that were left unsung, some that may never be heard by anyone else. She needed to let go, and she knew it was going to hurt like hell, but she realized she had to do it. When Tommy had proposed, she was living the fantasy that fifteen-year-old Jude had always wanted, but she realized she needed to figure out what 18-year-old Jude Harrison wanted. Right now, it was to go to London and be a rock star, but she realized that she may not want only that forever. She knew that Tommy would always be in her heart, but she was just not ready to be his wife. She dug in her bag until she found a pen and pulled the front cover of the journal back and started to write.

_Tommy, _

_I know you hate me right now, and I can't say that I'm surprised, because I hate myself. I love you, Tommy. Nothing is ever going to change that. But last night I realized that I'm not ready to be your wife. Maybe one day I will be, but that day is not today. I need to go to London, alone. I hope you understand that. I'm going to miss you like crazy, and it's going to be so hard to not have you in the recording booth, but I need to do this. I know you don't understand now, but maybe one day you will. I'm leaving you my journal, because this journal is our love on paper. This is every song I've written since I met you. I want you to have it, because I want you to realize that I will always love you, no matter where our paths lead. No matter what, you're always going to be my soul mate. I'm not going to be in London forever, but I don't want you pining for me the whole time I'm away, either. Live your life, Tommy, even if that means falling in love with someone else. But remember, Quincy, you can't get rid of me that easy. Please understand why I have to leave, and I hope one day you will forgive me._

_Forever your girl,_

_Jude _

_P.S. I have one request. I'm chasing my dream, and I want you to chase yours. Record your solo album. You are so much more than little Tommy Q, and I think it's time the world sees that. Plus, I know a great label that would sign you, and I have an in with the owner._

Before she could wipe it away, a tear fell onto the page, smudging her name. She simply closed the book and left it on his bedside table. With one last look, she left her journal and the love of her life behind. A few hours later she was checking to see that all her boxes were sealed and ready for shipping when the glint of the diamond in the engagement ring she was still wearing caught her eye. She had meant to take it off at his apartment, but she had just wanted to get out of there before she changed her mind, so she had forgotten about it. She was in the process of trying to find the ring box when Sadie knocked on her door.

"Hey sis, this just got dropped off," she said handing Jude a medium-sized box and going back downstairs. Jude sat the box down on the bed and opened it. She automatically knew it was from Tommy. On top, there was an old Boyz Attack! sweatshirt that had Lil' Tommy Q written across the back. She had worn it every time she had stayed at his house. At first it had been because it bugged him, but then she had gotten attached to it. She laid the sweatshirt down and pulled out the other items. There were three other things: a CD, a letter, and a triple frame. In the triple frame there were his handwritten lyrics for "Love to Burn" on the left, a picture of them standing in front of his viper that had been taken a few weeks before he had left for New Brunswick, and on the right side there were handwritten lyrics to "Always Be My Baby," a song she had never heard. She looked at the CD and realized it had the same title, so she quickly put it in her laptop, and within seconds his smooth voice filled the room. As she listened to the lyrics, she unfolded the letter and began to read.

_Girl,_

_I can't say that I'm not pissed at you, because I am. But it'll pass, like it always does. A part of me understands why you have to do this alone, but it's tearing me apart to know that in a matter of hours, you may walk out of my life forever. Last night after you made your announcement, I went home and tried to figure out what I had done wrong (which I know in the past has been plenty). After a while, I realized that neither of us had done anything wrong. We just need to learn how to be Jude and Tommy, instead of Jommy for a little while. After I came to that realization, I wrote "Always Be My Baby." Think of it as my going away gift to you, along with the other things in the box. I know I have to let you go, and it hurts like hell, but I know that I have to. The song says it all, Jude, you will always be my baby. After Angie, I didn't think I could love again, and here came this 15-year-old red head that completely turned my world upside down. I meant what I said, Jude… I want forever with you, and I want it even if I have to wait that long to get it. Keep the ring; let it remind you of the journey we've been on for the last four years. But don't let what we have hold you back. Make friends, chase your dreams, and most of all don't be afraid to love it all. I love you, Girl. That will never change. _

_You'll always be my Rockstar,_

_Tommy_

She put the letter back in the box and looked down at the ring. She quickly got up and started looking through her jewelry case until she found what she was looking for—a necklace with a guitar charm on it that Tommy had gave her for her 17th birthday. She held her hand up and looked at the ring on her finger one last time before she took it off and put it on the necklace before clasping it around her neck. She packed the box back up and fixed it so that it would be shipped to her new home. She then looked at her song journal that was on the bed. She flipped open the cover and read the words that had been written there two years ago. _Most of us go to our graves with our music still inside of us. _She had only written two songs in it, "The Music" and "There's Us" which she had written the night before, following her concert. She stuffed the journal in her bagand looked around her room one last time before she grabbed her bag and went downstairs where her sister and Jamie where waiting. A few minutes later, she had said goodbye to her sister and her best friend, and was now walking down the steps of her childhood home, heading toward the limo that was going to take her away from the only world she had ever known. She could feel his gaze on her as she stood by the limo. She turned and her eyes locked with his. She could see the tears that he was holding back, much like she was, and she almost lost her nerve and yelled out that she wanted him to come with her. But she knew no matter how much she wanted that to happen, it couldn't. They had to go their own ways, at least for a little while. With one last look at the people and home that had been her safety net, she got into the limo and headed toward her new life.

_**When you're the one left behind (Tommy)**_

After Jude had broken their engagement, Tommy didn't know what to do or where to go. After walking around for a while, he wound up at his apartment. For hours on end, he just sat on his couch, trying to get drunk, but nothing could get past the pain that losing Jude had caused. Sure he had "lost" her quite a few times in the past, but this time was different. This time she may not come back to him. He had been so happy less than 48 hours ago. He had been released from his G-major contract and engaged to the love of his life. Everything was going right in Tommy Q's world, so that meant something had to happen to mess it all up. It had started with their fight in Jude's garage. That's when he had started to realize that maybe this wasn't the right move—it wasn't a good sign that they had started fighting before they even left. It had gone down hill from there. He was so sure that things were going to turn out okay, and then she had said those words… "_Thank you for holding my hand, but to spread my wings, I need to do it alone…" _As those words replayed in his mind, he threw one of his beer bottles against the wall, where it contacted with the picture that hung there, sending it crashing to the floor. He walked over to it and saw that it was a dual frame that Jude had given him a few months before. On one side, it held a picture of them from her first performance after winning Instant Star at the Vinyl Palace. On the other side was a picture that Sadie had taken of them right after they got together. Looking at the two images side by side, he realized that she was right—she needed to do this alone—without a husband, boyfriend, or producer. For four years, they had been each other's everything, and now they needed to learn to be two people before they could be one again. Looking at the two pictures scared him, though, because Jude had changed so much in the last four years. What if another four years passed, and she didn't love him anymore? That was a reality he didn't want to deal with, and he tried to erase the thought from his mind as he picked up the frame and laid it against the wall.

He spent the rest of the night letting the memories of Jude and their time together wash over him. By morning he had poured all of his thoughts and feelings into a song, and now all he had to do was record it and get it to Jude before she left. He quickly grabbed the rough cut he had mixed, his lyrics, and guitar and took off out the door. He was half-way to G-major when he realized that ending his contract meant that he wasn't welcome there anymore. He had one more thought—hopefully Andrews was up for a charity case. A few minutes later, he pulled into Jamie's drive, and looked over at Jude's window to see her sitting on her bed amongst all the boxes. He quickly grabbed his stuff and went to beg for studio time.

"Quincy what are you doing here?" Jamie asked as Tommy reached the bottom of the stairs.

"I need a favor."

"I'm not begging Jude to take you back."

"Not that. I need to record something. It shouldn't take that long; I've got most of it done. I just need to fine-tune some things. Please, Jamie, it's for Jude. It's my way of telling her that I accept that she needs to do this alone."

Jamie looked hesitant before Tommy spoke again.

"C'mon Andrews, we both know she is sitting next door right now freaking out because she's not sure she's done the right thing. All I want to do is reassure her."

"Okay."

Half-way through the song, Tommy had another brain storm that Jamie helped him put into motion. A couple hours later, they had finished mixing the song and they had gotten everything Tommy needed for the gifts. Now Tommy sat on the couch in NBR trying to write a letter to Jude, but it was proving harder then he thought. He felt that he had said it all in the song, but he had other things to tell her, so he just started to write everything he had been too scared to say before.

As he finished the letter, Jamie came back down the stairs telling him that Jude was leaving in an hour, so he quickly put everything in the box and handed it to Jamie, who was going to make sure that Jude got it. He sat back down on the couch and looked around the record label for the first time. They had done a good job, considering they had no money and one artist.

"Lord Squinty Frown." He heard from the stair well.

"What do you want, Vincent?" Two could play at the name game.

"Just wondering why you, of all people, are sitting down here alone."

"Jamie's helping me with some things. How is this operation doing anyway?"

"Pretty good, we just need more artists, money, etc." Zeppelin said, coming down the stairs.

"You want a silent panther?" Tommy asked.

"Who?" Speid asked.

"Me."

"We can't; it'll be like what happened with Paegan," Zeppelin said.

"No it won't; as of yesterday, I am no longer an employee of G-major. I don't think Kwest is, either."

"Would you want to be more than a silent partner?"

"Like what?"

"Like a producer, possibly a solo artist?" Zeppelin asked with a small smile.

"I'll think about it," he said as he got up and headed outside. There was ten minutes left until Jude was to leave. He saw her standing on the front porch with Sadie and Jamie. He wanted to go over to her and wrap her in a hug and give her one last kiss, but he knew that would make everything harder for both of them, so he stayed back and simply watched as she walked to the limo. When she turned around, they locked eyes, and he could see the tears in her eyes and could feel the unshed ones in his. He watched as she touched the necklace that she was wearing, and it was then that he realized it was the guitar charm that he had gave her for her 17th. He also realized that her engagement ring hung beside it. He gave her a small smile, letting her know that he was okay. She then got into the limo and she was gone, possibly forever.

A few hours later, he found himself back at his apartment. He had talked to Jamie about some job opportunities, but all he wanted to do right now was wallow in self pity, alone. He dropped his guitar case in his bedroom and was about to walk out when he saw Jude's journal sitting there. He walked over to it and opened it to find the note she had left.

After he read the note in the journal, he grabbed it and his guitar and went back to his living room. He sat and strummed his guitar, letting the music heal his broken heart. As he read Jude's note, he made a vow that by the time she came home, he was going to be someone she could be proud of, someone that would be worthy of loving her.

8

It had been six months since Jude had gone to London. Tommy had remained in Toronto, now working for NBR. Late one night, he woke up to someone knocking on his door. He quickly got off of the couch where he had fallen asleep with his guitar. He opened the door to find Jude standing there.

"I couldn't let you go." She said as she walked in, before continuing, "These last six months I've been trying to move on, but every damn song is about you, and every little thought I have is about you, and I can't make it stop." At this point they had sat down on the couch.

"So you decided to fly all the way back here because…" he replied, still a little mystified by her appearance.

"Because I…." She fiddled with her necklace before she took it off and pulled the ring off. "Because I want forever. You told me a year ago in that café that you wanted forever with me. Well, I'm telling you now that I want forever, too." She said has she looked up at him, teary-eyed.

"But what about doing it on your own and not wanting your crutch? And being a rock star?"

"Babe, being a rock star doesn't mean anything if I don't have you," she said as he slid the ring on her finger and they kissed.


	2. alt endings

Jude sit on her bed looking around her almost empty bedroom, in less then 10 hours she would be on a plane to London leaving e

_**Here's five alt.endings. **_

_**ALT END1**_: Several hours later, his songwriting was interrupted when his phone rang. He looked at the number before answering.

"Just breathe, Big Eyes."

"What have I done? Why did I think it was smart to come over here without you?" Jude said, panic clearly evident in her voice.

"Jude, clam down. You made the right choice okay? You're going to be great, but you need to relax. What are you doing right now?"

"I just got done meeting with all the boss people, who are scary as hell."

He was quiet for a moment before he thought of what would ease her stress. "How about this, why don't you go to the park and just walk around, okay?"

"That's sounds like a good idea. I could use a little fresh air and a change of scenery. Thanks, Tommy….um, I don't know when I'll be able to--"

"It's okay, Jude. We'll talk when we talk. I love you."

"I love you, too."

And with that, the call was disconnected. Tommy thought about it, and realized that maybe they could do this whole long-distance thing. Or at least he hoped they could, for the sake of their phone bills.

_**ALTEND2 **_

A year later, Tommy stepped into the concert hall and surveyed his surroundings. This place was massive, and Jamie told him on the way over that Jude had sold it out for that night's concert. She had no clue that he was here, or that he was her opening act. They had only spoken a couple times in the past year. Each time it had been so hard to say goodbye, and they both decided they didn't want to go through that pain. As he got closer to the stage, he saw her doing a sound check and laughing with her producer. Jude started into a song he had never heard before, so he decided to make his presence known.

"You wanna stop, you're hurting my ears," was all that he said. Jude and her producer looked up, and as soon as Jude saw him, she was off the stage and in his arms.

"My God, Tommy what are you doing here?" She asked as he kissed her forehead.

"I'm your opening act."

"What? You went solo? With who?" she asked has she stepped out of his arms.

"Well, Mr. Quincy here is NBR's second artist," Jamie said, walking up to them. Jude quickly wrapped him in a hug.

"So if you're my opening act…"

"That means I'm going on your tour with you."

Jude let out a squeal as she jumped into Tommy's arms and kissed him--their first kiss since she had left. She pulled back and whispered in his ear, "looks like we're doing this together after all."

_**ALTEND3: **_He was torn from his thoughts by his TV as it flashed with breaking news. He turned it up, but he wasn't ready to hear what it said.

"Flight 413 from Canada to London has crashed in the Atlantic; there are no survivors."

The remote fell out of his hand as he slid onto the floor. Tommy let the tears that he had been holding back come. His eyes once again were caught by the picture of him and Jude that he had broken earlier. Like the glass of the picture, all of his hopes and dreams had just been shattered. He just sat and cried for everything he had just lost.

_**ALTEND4:**_ Five years down the road, Tommy quietly looking at his sleeping daughter. She was six months old, and Tommy still couldn't believe that she or her mother were in his life. He stepped out of the room and walked down the stairs to the basement studio. He stood at the door watching Jude as she worked on something. Two years after she had left for London, Jude had returned to Canada. She had told him that the rock star life was no fun without him, so they had left Canada that night and headed back to London. The time apart had been good for them. Jude had gotten to do all the rock star things she wanted to and Tommy had released his solo album with NBR. However, they had both quickly realized that without the other, all of those accomplishments were empty. In his mind, Tommy's two biggest accomplishments were having Jude as a wife and Carly as a daughter.

"Hey, Lil' Tommy Q," Jude said, walking up to him and wrapping her arms around him.

"Hi Big Eyes," he replied as they just stood there for a while, holding each other.

"Let's go to bed," he said has they walked up the stairs, hand in hand. Tommy thanked God everyday that after three years of the rock star lifestyle, Jude decided she wanted "normal," and believe it or not, they were pretty good at it.

_**ALTEND5:**_ She never came back. That's a cold, hard truth that Tommy Q had to live with everyday. Over the years, the pain and regret had lessened, but it was always still there. He had clung desperately to the memory of what they had for two years, until Jamie let it slip that Jude was dating someone in London and that she had been for over six months. Tommy realized that this new relationship was already longer than when Jude and Tommy had dated, but they had built 3 years of friendship behind it. That was when he slowly started to let her go. The night he heard she was engaged, he went and got piss drunk, but that was also the night that he met Lexi. He and Lexi became close friends, but for a long time he couldn't bring himself to date her, because he was still clinging to the fantasy that Jude had become. As he and Lexi got even closer, he felt the longing for Jude start to disappear. Soon, he was happy with Lexi, and he was at peace with his past. Two days after Jude got married, he asked Lexi to marry him. Their wedding soon followed. Less than a year later, Tommy got to do something before Jude—he and Lexi welcomed their first child—a son, named Antony James Quincy. He made Tommy a proud father. Ten years after she left Toronto, she returned with her husband and daughter. Jamie had warned him that she may come by, but he had come into the studio that day anyway. He needed to see her one more time. The minute they saw each other, she put her four-year old down, who automatically went to where his five year old was. Jude and Tommy talk for a few minutes, and they soon realize that what they had once had had turned into passion for other people, something that, at 18 and 24, they didn't think was possible. Their conversation quickly turned to what had always connected them—music. They were torn from their conversation by singing coming from the booth, so they both got up and walked over. They both laughed at the sight before them, Tommy's son Tony, and Jude's daughter Mia had gone into the booth and where singing an old songs of Jude's. Jamie walked up behind them and broke the moment.

"Will you look at that. It's the next generation," he said as he went into the booth with the kids. Tommy and Jude both looked at each other and smiled. This wasn't the life they had planned, but maybe it was better.

_**ALTEND6: **_It had been six months since Jude had gone to London. Tommy had remained in Toronto, continuing to work for G-Major. Late one night, he woke up to someone knocking on his door. He quickly got off of the couch where he had fallen asleep with his guitar. He opened the door to find Jude standing there. "I couldn't let you go." She said as she walked in, before continuing, "These last six months I've been trying to move on, but every damn song is about you, and every little thought I have is about you, and I can't make it stop."

At this point they had sat down on the couch.

"So you decided to fly all the way back here because…" he replied, still a little mystified by her appearance.

"Because I…." She fiddled with her necklace before she took it off and pulled the ring off. "Because I want forever. You told me a year ago in that café that you wanted forever with me. Well, I'm telling you now that I want forever, too." She said has she looked up at him, teary-eyed.

"But what about doing it on your own and not wanting your crutch? And being a rock star?"

"Babe, being a rock star doesn't mean anything if I don't have you," she said as he slid the ring on her finger and they kissed.


End file.
